Our Story

Hey, I'm HJ.

Seven years ago, I was sitting in my therapist's office getting diagnosed with depression. But the real problem started way before that.

I've always been the type who notices every little change in my body. So when I started feeling off after masturbating—tired and foggy—I couldn't ignore it. Most people would shrug it off, but I became obsessed.

What if this is making me weaker?

That question followed me everywhere. I'd be in the middle of a workout, wondering if I'd sabotaged my strength. On dates with my girlfriend, guilt would creep in and kill my confidence. During group projects, I'd zone out, stuck in my own head about whether I could've had a clearer mind.

I started believing things like semen retention and energy preservation. Looking back, it sounds ridiculous, but at the time, these felt like science. My relationship also fell apart. I couldn't be present with my girlfriend because the worry of weakness was always there, making me distant and anxious.

By 2018, the depression diagnosis made everything click into place. For years, the fear of weakness became habits. Knowing the actual science doesn't let go of the fear.

Then in 2023, my job saved me. I was building a journal app that listened and gave feedback. And that reminded me of the days with my psychiatrist, when he'd give quick feedback on spot! The difference is that therapists aren't always available, but a journal is always there.

So I experimented this feedback loop by mimicking what my journal app did. For three months, every single time after masturbating, I quickly jotted down and thought about what my mind and body were feeling. Session by session, something incredible happened. I felt my energy was back gradually. I didn't care about masturbation that much, as if I had forgotten it. The tiredness and brain fog are completely gone. I killed the enemy I've fought against for years!

My learning: knowing yourself through a smart journal and taking small steps to rewire your habits will help you conquer negative behaviors, like masturbation shame and porn addiction.

So, I'm building Fapulous, an embodiment of my journey. If you're stuck dealing with porn addiction, or feel ashamed or uncomfortable after masturbating, Fapulous is here to help. It's a journal that learns about you, suggests useful techniques, and helps you change your behavior for the better.

Ready to try a different approach? I'm here to help.