Our Story

Hey, I'm HJ.

Seven years ago, I was sitting in my therapist's office getting diagnosed with depression. But the real problem started way before that.

I've always been the type who notices every little change in my body. So when I started feeling off after masturbating—tired and foggy—I couldn't ignore it. Most people would shrug it off, but I became obsessed.

What if this is making me weaker?

That question followed me everywhere. I'd be in the middle of a workout, wondering if I'd sabotaged my strength. On dates with my girlfriend, guilt would creep in and kill my confidence. During group projects, I'd zone out, stuck in my own head about whether I could've had a clearer mind.

I started believing crazy things—that I needed to preserve the energy of my body. Looking back, it sounds ridiculous, but at the time, these myths felt like scientific facts. My relationship also fell apart. I couldn't be present with my girlfriend because the worry of weakness was always there, making me distant and anxious.

By 2018, the depression diagnosis made everything click into place. For years, the fear of weakness became habits. Knowing the actual science doesn't let go of the fear.

Then in 2023, my job saved me. As an AI marketer, I kept seeing how AI always gave feedback without judging and transformed my app users' lives. It reminded me of the days with my psychiatrist, when he'd give quick feedback after I felt terrible, making me feel much better! The difference is that therapists aren't always available; your AI companion is.

So I experimented with this feedback loop on myself by mimicking an AI companion before I built one. For three months, every single time after masturbating, I'd search and think out loud what my body was actually doing. Session by session, something incredible happened. I felt my energy come back gradually. I didn't pay attention to masturbation that much. The tiredness and brain fog are completely gone. I killed the enemy I'd fought against for years!

Now I wake up thinking about how many guys are probably going through exactly what I went through. Carrying that same secret burden, asking that same question: Is masturbation bad?

I have to build Fapulous. It's the app I wish I'd had back in 2015—post-session mindfulness tools I worked on with actual neuroscientists to help you rewire the shame spiral. No matter if you're feeling guilty, unwell or ashamed, Fapulous will help you recover—at the best window when your body's chemistry prompts negative thoughts.

I do get it. Because I've been exactly where you are. And I'm here to tell you: there's nothing wrong with masturbation. You just need practices replacing myths with facts.

Ready to try a different approach? I'm here to help.